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When Angels Fly - Book ExcerptI so want Eli to be like a normal child. I am so very SICK of people asking, “How do you do it?” or simply saying, “I don’t know how you do it.” Both of these comments really anger me – it is not like Eli or I or anyone else has a choice! Why did Eli have to be robbed of his childhood? I have so damn many questions! I pray Eli heals fast and has a happy time after treatment is complete.
When Angels Fly - Book ExcerptI phoned EU and spoke with Marci, Eli’s nurse and with Eli. Marci and Eli know I will be back sometime today. Eli albeit barely a boy understands that I must protect Gage the best I can. Eli knew this was why I came to Englewood – so that I could keep Gage out of my mother’s clutches this summer. Eli understood that I was trying to ensure his brother stays cared for at Amy’s. Eli also wanted me back with him soonest, but he told me he also wanted, in his own words, “brother safe.” It broke my heart that Eli at age five years already knew so much about the bad things in life. Were my boys robbed of their childhood by Greg and my mother?
When Angels Fly - Book ExcerptEarlier, I had been busy in the kitchen at the Ronald McDonald house making Eli’s favorite cookie this afternoon – chocolate chip. I really wanted Eli to take just one bite of one cookie but he said no. Now he smells the scent of the cookies but he can’t eat any. I feel just awful for Eli. The radiation is probably already causing problems with his poor little stomach. We played together outside today on the playground at the Ronald McDonald house. Right before we went back inside Eli took one piece of a Sixlet’s candy and planted it in the sandbox. Eli said he was “going to grow a bunch of candy.” I guess that makes sense to a five year old. Eli always watched me work in our vegetable garden at home so evidently he thinks he can grow candy. I wasn’t about to tell him otherwise.
When Angels Fly - Book ExcerptMy heart broke as I cried. Eli wanted to go to Heaven! How did my five year old little boy know of Heaven when I refused to tell him much of Heaven for had I done so, just talking about it, would make Eli dying too much of a reality. I wanted Eli to know of God and Jesus, but I was terrified of Eli dying so I said very little to him about Heaven. Somehow Eli knew though, he knew of Heaven and he wanted to go there. Who was I to tell Eli, “We don’t always get what we want in life and that he might have to come back to me.” Was I selfish to not want to give Eli back to God?
When Angels Fly - Book ExcerptI fell into a restless sleep tonight with Eli at my side. Eli and I just simply gave each other comfort; my little boy living a hell of a life extended comfort to his mom while she, with feet dangling also toward the pits of hell, tried so much to share with her son a taste of Heaven on Earth. If only it were simple.